Through college and some of high school, I have always liked the Dave Matthews Band. From his first major studio release “Under the Table and Dreaming”, the leadoff song was always a favorite of mine. That song, “The Best of What’s Around”, has very good lyrics, some of which stick in my mind.
“Turns out not where but who you're with
That really matters”
A lot of times in my life, I am reminded of those lyrics. There have been times when I thought if only I could be in a certain place or location, that my life could be very different. Or we as people think that if only we could be anywhere other than our present location, we would feel better. We think that such a shift would remedy some of our problems. However, over the past few months, I have come to realize that isn’t necessarily true. Things may always look promising in other locales, but really every situation and setting has its advantages and disadvantages.
The fact of matter is that it isn’t so much where you are, but who you surround yourself with that determines your quality of life. When you have a good, strong base of friends with whom you can stay active and involved, you feel happy. In any place without these friends, I think a sense of loneliness and dissatisfaction sets in. You can’t run away from this feeling.
When I think about life, I tend to think in terms of experiences. Especially experiences involving time spent with my best friends. In fact these are my happiest times. I recall the memories of traveling Europe with my best friend from college for three weeks, playing a round of paintball with my hometown boys, hitting up IU for little 500 with two of my best friends, going on a Cedar Point road trip while in high school, eating out on Sundays with my fraternity brothers, walking along the beaches in Mexico with my uncle, and drinking with my work friends on Lake Michigan until sunrise. All these things make smile and feel fulfilled.
When I want to epitomize this kind of moment, I think back to a movie scene. The end of the movie, “Sleepers”, has a scene where five childhood friends gather in a private room of a New York bar. They drink, tell stories, laugh, and even sing together. It’s the last moment they are all together before their lives diverge or ultimately end. However, I can’t help but think about the coziness of the situation. Everyone is immersed into the present moment and the comradery. It’s one of those moments that I wish I could recreate in my life and bask in forever. It’s also a rare movie moment that almost makes me cry. It’s such an awesome scene, but it’s bittersweet. Observing this situation makes me think about how fortunate we are to have good friends and people in our lives.
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